Blender: the source of the dreaded “blender bender”
Knives: basically a small sword, you are like a knight cutting up cabbage
George Foreman Grill: used to create a weird orange crust on chicken breasts
Coffee Maker: if you don’t like coffee, use a handful of ground up candies
Oven: last cleaned… never?
KETTLES SHOULD PLAY MP3S INSTEAD OF WHISTLING
Who’s the boss on the mic?
Rhyming that nasty stanza?
Making the crowd go crazy
Run the show like Tony Danza
Vegan eateries: Kentucky Fried Chickpeas, Non-Dairy Queen, The Shitty Restaurant