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Starbucks Continued
You're friendly, clean and approachable
But guess what Starbucks
Your espressos taste like smoking a stale cigar with six hairs in it
Your Frappuccinos makes me think of men wearing t-shirts tucked into their pants
And if I'm paying six bucks for a drink
It better have booze in it
...
THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD TIP AT COFFEE SHOPS
Would you like a flavour shot?
Do you have coffee flavour?
...
You cannot meet ladies at the coffee shop if you are reading the Wikipedia page about crayfish