Types of Men’s Pants

Dockers: worn by Dads or boring children

Leather Slacks: for today’s modern douchebag

Bell Bottoms: for the thick-legged, cankled gentleman

Bell Tops: for the heavy-waisted, lorsoed gentleman

Overalls: creepy if worn without any other clothing

Hammer Pants: good for sperm, or if music hits you so hard and makes you say oh my lord

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BOOTY SHORTS: ALSO KNOWN AS CHEEK EATERS

Roger makes a daring statement with his cheek eaters.

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Sunscreen on your rump it is called moonscreen