How to…

Ask out a girl: try saying “Wanna go on a date?”

Stop impaired driving: don’t drink and drive, drink and drink

Get a nose job: don’t do it, it’s just a nose

Hump: best discovered without instructions

Pee your pants in public: wait for rain (remember: outside only)

Appreciate the Textile Museum of Canada:
1. Get high 2. Don’t go

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HOW TO RAP: I’M STILL FIGURING THAT OUT

Bum cheeks move like wings
Flapping without strain
I wanna grab that tail
Like an origami crane

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How to masturbate: practice makes perfect