How to…
Ask out a girl: try saying “Wanna go on a date?”
Stop impaired driving: don’t drink and drive, drink and drink
Get a nose job: don’t do it, it’s just a nose
Hump: best discovered without instructions
Pee your pants in public: wait for rain (remember: outside only)
Appreciate the Textile Museum of Canada:
1. Get high 2. Don’t go
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HOW TO RAP: I’M STILL FIGURING THAT OUT
Bum cheeks move like wings
Flapping without strain
I wanna grab that tail
Like an origami crane
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How to masturbate: practice makes perfect