Why I'd Never Be a Doctor

Are your bowels regular? Are you sure?

Any diarrhea that looked like a Jackson Pollock painting?

What about constipation? Have you ever pushed so hard that you saw colours?

What about dropping one so nasty that it made your face wrinkle up like a Klingon?

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I keep telling you, everything is normal!

So you’ve never felt like you were riding an enormous toboggan?

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So you’ve never skipped work to shit?