Types of Sitting

Dental Chair Manipulation: slowly leaning back as you lie to your dentist about flossing

Church Slouch: Rage.

Osaka Ass Cheeks: experiencing Japanese massage chairs that make you feel good but… afraid

YMCA Squat: refusing to dance to terrible songs at weddings

Loaf Catapult: an accident on the playground swings

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JUST BECAUSE YOUR BODY IS SITTING IN A MEETING, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOUR BRAIN IS

If you have to blow your nose, Kleenex should smell like chocolate.

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Art History Hunch: people actually major in this?