Types of Drunks II
The Jolly: has double chins from double gins
The Sad: uses tears instead of salt for tequila shots
The Clumsy: moves like a swan without bones
The Arrested: gets in fist fights with walls, mirrors, the wind
The Wired: pounds Red Bull and vodka without dancing it off
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WHY CANADIANS AREN’T VIOLENT
You wanna take this outside?
Nah, it’s like minus forty.
…
The Canadian winter vs. Chuck Taylors