Farts IV

Five-Alarm Fire: so foul it sets off the fire alarm

Dry Bather: it completely dries a wet bathing suit

Signature Rip: when you’re known for a style (it smells like toast, sounds like your name, etc.)

Internet Explorer: you release the steam and it’s so dense that your wireless connection stops

Two-Cheeker: when you’re sitting and lift one cheek, but then you realize you gotta lift both

The Dream Fart: directly into your boss’s face, his glasses fly off, maybe his head explodes, etc.

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POST-FARTUM DEPRESSION: DRIFTING ONE AND THEN FEELING MYSTERIOUSLY SAD

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“I cut the cheese and lost my will to live”