Five-Alarm Fire: so foul it sets off the fire alarm
Dry Bather: it completely dries a wet bathing suit
Signature Rip: when you’re known for a style (it smells like toast, sounds like your name, etc.)
Internet Explorer: you release the steam and it’s so dense that your wireless connection stops
Two-Cheeker: when you’re sitting and lift one cheek, but then you realize you gotta lift both
The Dream Fart: directly into your boss’s face, his glasses fly off, maybe his head explodes, etc.
POST-FARTUM DEPRESSION: DRIFTING ONE AND THEN FEELING MYSTERIOUSLY SAD
“I cut the cheese and lost my will to live”