The Seven Deadly Hallowe’en Sins

Pride: your jack o’ lantern shouldn’t weigh more than you

Gluttony: do not make a candy necklace out of chocolate bars

Greed: you do not need a GPS to trick or treat

Sloth: take the wrappers off caramels before chewing

Lust: refrain from licorice spankings

Wrath: if eggs are thrown, they shouldn’t be frozen

Envy: do not be jealous if you’re too old to trick or treat
you can buy candy every day, remember?

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A LAST MINUTE COSTUME: HANG A TOILET SEAT OFF YOUR BELT, SQUAT AND NOW YOU’RE A TOILET

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Let’s put Jesus back in Hallowe’en and make crosses with Kit Kats