New Movie Ideas III

Bat and Blonde: A real live bat bites Tori Spelling’s nose (people cheer, it is fantastic)

The Daily Shriek: someone whines into a camera at close range (YouTube only, staring puberty)

Get Cheeky: a bum documentary (the focus is completely on textures, staring asses)

Legends of the Fall 2: a robot adventure, there are lasers and stuff (ladies will believe this is a sequel, redemption for a date I had when I was 13)

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“GRANDMA’S GONE”: GRANDMA DIES AND A MAN DOES A MONOLOGUE ABOUT THE THINGS SHE LEFT BEHIND

I thought Grandma was so wonderful… the old love letters… the sepia photos… then I found the ICP albums.

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Oatmeal is a cereal you have to eat soggy