Kissing Styles

The Kermit: scrunch up your mouth like Kermit the Frog is sucking on a penny

The Woodpecker: 7kps (kisses per second)

Lipless Robot: hide your lips inside your mouth and press heads together over and over and over and over

Triple Play: try and make a weird looking third lip with your tongue

The Terrified Christian: closed mouth kissing with no lip movement unless it’s a whisper that apologizes to Christ

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THE PARANOID ANDROID: HYPOCHONDRIAC KISSES

Do you mind if I put a condom over my tongue?

I… I’d prefer it.

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Bored? Check under your couch cushions for miniature antiques