Making New Friends

It takes a while to get to know someone

Which is why you can't tell new friends exactly what's on your mind

"Imagine riding a bicycle in bare feet and running over some roadkill"

"Imagine seeing a beautiful unicorn with an enormous, veiny boner"

"Imagine phoning the doctor because you took a perfectly spherical, shiny white shit"

…

Imagine a magnet was mysteriously attracted to your penis.

…

Never tell people exactly what you’re thinking