The Seven Deadly Sins (Subway Edition)
Envy: Thou shall not be jealous of Jared's weight loss
Gluttony: You do not need to order a second footlong
Sloth: Clean the lettuce off your shirt after you finish the sandwich
Greed: Share! Your! Doritos!
Pride: Avoid purchasing a six-inch with a hundred dollar bill
Wrath: Refrain from screaming if the establishment ran out of olives
Lust: Do not fantasize about having sexual relations with the sandwich artist
Stealing from your friends? That is something that a dick would do! Cheating on your wife? You're being a dick! Throwing rocks at chickadees? You dick.