The Seven Deadly Sins (Subway Edition)

Envy:  Thou shall not be jealous of Jared's weight loss

Gluttony:  You do not need to order a second footlong

Sloth:  Clean the lettuce off your shirt after you finish the sandwich

Greed:  Share! Your! Doritos!

Pride:  Avoid purchasing a six-inch with a hundred dollar bill

Wrath:  Refrain from screaming if the establishment ran out of olives

Lust:  Do not fantasize about having sexual relations with the sandwich artist

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Stealing from your friends? That is something that a dick would do! Cheating on your wife? You're being a dick! Throwing rocks at chickadees? You dick.