The Seven Deadly Freshmen Sins
Pride: joining a frat is not an achievement
Wrath: roommates are not for punching
(they’re for stealing beer from)
Envy: your safety school is still a school
Greed: do not charge for a house party
Sloth: sleeping-in so late you miss class? Yes
Sleeping-in so late you miss the bar? No
Gluttony: kegs are for sharing
Lust: calm down, you’ve got four years
…
The freshman fifteen
Will sneak up like mosquitoes
Cramming is for exams
Not handfuls of Doritos
…
Shitty housing, shitty beer, shitty essays, good times