The Seven Deadly Freshmen Sins

Pride: joining a frat is not an achievement

Wrath: roommates are not for punching
(they’re for stealing beer from)

Envy: your safety school is still a school

Greed: do not charge for a house party

Sloth: sleeping-in so late you miss class? Yes
Sleeping-in so late you miss the bar? No

Gluttony: kegs are for sharing

Lust: calm down, you’ve got four years

…

The freshman fifteen
Will sneak up like mosquitoes
Cramming is for exams
Not handfuls of Doritos

…

Shitty housing, shitty beer, shitty essays, good times