Diet Food Alternatives

Instead of steak, try fish!
You can’t go from Nintendo to Sega

Instead of cream, try soy milk!
You can’t go from an office to a cubicle

Instead of sweet relish, try sugar-free relish!
You can’t go from Lil’ Wayne to Lil’ Wayne

Instead of French fries, try turnip!
You can’t from violins giving you goose bumps to pulling a piece of spaghetti out of your throat

Instead of beer, try water!
You can’t go from sleeping in to turning the last pages of Charlotte’s web with moist fingers

…

INSTEAD OF LIL’ WAYNE, TRY ANYTHING!

Gotta spin some old school
All this new shit is wack
Kerouac’s in my time machine
Caught I brought the beat back

…

Instead of fried chicken, try calisthenics!