Adam's Apple

Some scholars believe that Adam didn’t eat an apple in the Garden of Eden

He ate a pomegranate or a fig

Here is my scholarly hypothesis

ADAM DIDN'T EXIST

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IF HEAVEN IS A REAL PLACE
YOU’LL FIND OUT WHEN YOU’RE DEAD!
SO WORRY ABOUT IT LATER ON
AND DANCE AND DRINK INSTEAD!

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I'd rather have five hundred gods than one. What if the only god is a jerk?