I Swear This Works
Whenever someone is trying to sell me something, I always tell them I already have it
"Interested in the new MasterCard?"
"Already got one in my wallet!"
"We're here from the Mormon church!"
"Whoa man I'm a Mormon!"
"There was a murder in the neighbourhood last night. Can we ask you some questions?"
"Ha ha no problem I did it!"
"I think it's time we have a baby!"
"I've already got one you don't know about!"
…
Free condom?
Too late! My wiener is already sick!
…
"Want to see pictures of my vacation?" "Already saw 'em on the Facebook"