I Swear This Works

Whenever someone is trying to sell me something, I always tell them I already have it

"Interested in the new MasterCard?"

"Already got one in my wallet!"

"We're here from the Mormon church!"

"Whoa man I'm a Mormon!"

"There was a murder in the neighbourhood last night. Can we ask you some questions?"

"Ha ha no problem I did it!"

"I think it's time we have a baby!"

"I've already got one you don't know about!"

…

Free condom?

Too late! My wiener is already sick!

…

"Want to see pictures of my vacation?" "Already saw 'em on the Facebook"