Phobias

Woodtonguphobia: fear of licking a popsicle stick

Wikiperlustrophobia: fear of looking away from Wikipedia, even for a second

Areopallophobia: fear of falling asleep on an airplane and getting an erection

Contrasonitusphobia: fear that playing a record backwards will produce terrifying sounds (rabbits screaming, children practicing recorders, audio of your parents explaining sex, etc.)

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So the man will… uh, take his wiener…

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Arachnoarcoglossophobia: fear of being covered with spiders when you’re public speaking on the edge of a cliff