Traveler’s Diarrhea

“Oh man I got the spring break squirts”

“I sat there with the horrifying hostel no-push plops”

“So we’re making out and then POW: I’ve got the wicked weekend watery clam curry”

“As the abroad raunch flowed all I could think of was some guy shovelling rotten pumpkins into a geyser”

“I ain’t playing I had the straight up canoe trip shits”

“Then all this brown water comes out at the bottom of the water slide and ten seconds later I pop out guilty of tourist troubles”

“I owned that Disney Cruise anus hurricane”

…

It was the weekend at Grandma’s burning brown cottage cheese shoots.

…

So I stayed home and had the staycation streams