Sex Positions V
The Snowball: doing it rolling down a hill
Ying Yang: partners pretend their left side is sadist and their right side is masochist
The Hobbes: you literally knock their shoes off
The Grammar Nazi: you’re so mad at that spelling mistake you saw online that you can’t even boner
Real Vanilla: lights out, breaths held, children gone
The Burning Dork: you pretend your wiener is on fire and you’ve gotta put it out somehow
…
My skin is like lace, my legs are like laughter, my heart is like freedom.
My wiener is like… awesome.
…
I don’t know you but I bet your ancestors humped