Types of Boners
Touch Boner: caused by contact, like a nudge from a nipple or a strong wind
Thought Boner: caused by thinking, like imagining a woman’s haircut or neck muscles
Non-Thought Non-Touch Boner: the NTNTB is a mystery, like menstruation and the moon
Reflection Erection: mirrors make the ugly guy want to stand up and check himself out
Funeral Salute: what dude doesn’t want to be the corpse at this funeral?
STICK UP BONER: LIKE THE FRILLED LIZARD, YOU LOOK BIGGER TO SCARE PREDATORS
Ugh, I can’t mug this guy.
Good band name: Menstruation and the Moon