Types of Boners

Touch Boner: caused by contact, like a nudge from a nipple or a strong wind

Thought Boner: caused by thinking, like imagining a woman’s haircut or neck muscles

Non-Thought Non-Touch Boner: the NTNTB is a mystery, like menstruation and the moon

Reflection Erection: mirrors make the ugly guy want to stand up and check himself out

Funeral Salute: what dude doesn’t want to be the corpse at this funeral?

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STICK UP BONER: LIKE THE FRILLED LIZARD, YOU LOOK BIGGER TO SCARE PREDATORS

Ugh, I can’t mug this guy.

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Good band name: Menstruation and the Moon