Negative Christmas Carols

He’s making a list, checking it twice
Old Saint Nick: Giver. Cookie Eater. Potential Grammar Nazi?

Come, they told me pa rum pa pum pum
Pa rum pa pum pum? Been hitting the rum?

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Wondered why Santa had a whip

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
then pretend that he’s Parson Brown
Who the fuck is Parson Brown?

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
All I want is the music to stop

…

I AM A TOTAL HYPOCRITE, DROP ME A BEAT!

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the ass
The cheek seat was rich
So dense with mass

…

The Ukrainian Bell Carol is awesome / oh yeah that is a reindeer ghost