This Guy is So Lonely :(

I eat a lot of TV dinners in my bachelor apartment :(

My email address doesn’t even get auto replies :(

The only one at my funeral will be my ghost :(

A massage book, collecting dust :(

Bicycle built for two, never ridden :(

Chocolate milkshake, one straw :(

My imaginary friend doesn’t even believe I’m real :(

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My doctor told me my heart is so weak that if I ever fall in love, I’ll die.

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I watch soccer to see other grown men cry :(