Types of Capital Punishment
Electric Chair: the only death penalty where you die with a sponge on your head
Firing Squad: kinda like a cheerleading squad, but less vicious
Hanging: on a string with only one direction to go like a helium balloon
Froot Loops: think about them… can you taste that shitty, artificial fruit flavour?
Your Kid’s Christmas Play: why are you videotaping it? Do you really want to relive this hell again?
Oh look, it’s Pockmark Mark! I thought I smelled you, Skidmark. Marky Mark, do you call your tiny package The Funky Bunch?
You can live for a long time if you don’t eat cereal that has a mascot