Sex Positions V
The Snowball: doing it rolling down a hill
Ying Yang: partners pretend their left side is sadist and their right side is masochist
The Hobbes: you literally knock their shoes off
The Grammar Nazi: you’re so mad at that spelling mistake you saw online that you can’t even boner
Real Vanilla: lights out, breaths held, children gone
The Burning Dork: you pretend your wiener is on fire and you’ve gotta put it out somehow
My skin is like lace, my legs are like laughter, my heart is like freedom.
My wiener is like… awesome.
I don’t know you but I bet your ancestors humped