The Kermit: scrunch up your mouth like Kermit the Frog is sucking on a penny
The Woodpecker: 7kps (kisses per second)
Lipless Robot: hide your lips inside your mouth and press heads together over and over and over and over
Triple Play: try and make a weird looking third lip with your tongue
The Terrified Christian: closed mouth kissing with no lip movement unless it’s a whisper that apologizes to Christ
THE PARANOID ANDROID: HYPOCHONDRIAC KISSES
Do you mind if I put a condom over my tongue?
I… I’d prefer it.
Bored? Check under your couch cushions for miniature antiques